It's hard, when you get hit with a shock realization. When something hits so close to home that you really just, don't know how to react, you're so lost for words that only you're choking sobs fill the silence. You feel as if you're trapped between worlds, not sure which direction to take. You've never felt so alone.
As you walk down that silent road, you contemplate the future, and how you will conquer it by yourself. You ponder those you thought you had, and grieve when you think about how much you had given. You feel like a freak, unappreciated, mental. You wish you could be the first priority, that for once, you could be the world to someone. You wish you weren't so alone.
Your head swims in an void of lost dreams, a current of insanity. You try to keep grounded, while you're feet feel like taking off into space. Nothing seems to distract you, nothing but your mind, can occupy you. Music..moving images.. text... for once, it all seems so worthless. You welcome emptiness... anything, just not to feel so fucked up anymore. Lost in a pit of self despair, you sit and rot, while you try to heal enough to pull yourself out of this darkened well.
Suddenly, you feel so old, your youth gone down the drain, ceasing to return. Yet, you feel like a little child, a hopeless puppy, so vulnerable, caught up in the sharp jaws of harsh reality. You wonder, if you'll ever be happy again,
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
10th April 2011
Another blog post, another day in the life of a blonde psycho. Yes, that's me.. I honestly believe I am somewhat psychotic. Hoorah. I have incidentally started another blog called http://psychoticbubble.blogspot.com/ just to have a blog with a bit of a different viewpoint from this one, hopefully it will be somewhat less depressing! It is called What's my Age Again?. I like this name. I like it a lot. Ok, so have exams coming up soon, the dark cloud of judgement looming above my head like a heavy storm cloud, please let me do good in this! Because, as everyone has been taking every opportunity to tell me , my future 'depends on this'. Oh my, way to liven one's spirit ay? Anyway, I am off to gander in my day dreaming world of imagination, and hopefully come out all sunshine and pooping butterflies. Im in such a weird spot in my life right now, I dont know where to turn, or what to do. Oh well.. let me follow my instincts. Fare thee well
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Intruder
Intruding distraction,
stealing my thoughts and running away with them into unknown depths.
Carry them on your musical wave,
and bring the present back in a shock of confusion.
Endless dreams in a lucid manner
drive my attention away from gnawing reality.
Unhealthy... magical.
Disorderly...unorganized.
Waver supposed importance,
stealing my thoughts and running away with them into unknown depths.
Carry them on your musical wave,
and bring the present back in a shock of confusion.
Endless dreams in a lucid manner
drive my attention away from gnawing reality.
Unhealthy... magical.
Disorderly...unorganized.
Waver supposed importance,
to the important.
Lazy or bored?
In love.
With what.
A fiction.
Lure my mind to far away desires.
Mingle with the dead,
sing with the revered.
Lazy or bored?
In love.
With what.
A fiction.
Lure my mind to far away desires.
Mingle with the dead,
sing with the revered.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
20th November 2010
Some walls are built, not to keep anyone from coming in, but to see who cares enough to climb over them. It is really discomforting when, you finally realise that at the end of the day, the only person there for you, is yourself. No matter how much emotion and energy and sleep-ness nights you put in, no one but your inner self is ever truly there for you when you need someone the most.
With a pen in hand, the only real companion you have besides your conscious, is the blank page spread out in front of your drained eyes.
The marvelous curtain of silken sheet shyly unveils herself as she gets ready for her master performance. Tenderly she lets the maestro direct the flow of musical creativity unleash an explosion of colours onto her yet empty facade.
The primary colors first, creeping slowly onto the potential white, spreading their dazzling plumage as they hook onto the edges with might. The fierce secondary rapids come rushing in, taking the center stage. With a violent rage, the insignias swirl here and there, blindingly binding and dominating the grand opening.
Brilliant sparks fly as the magic erupts out of the concoction of creation, out of the deepest boundaries of the unknown imagination.
Next come the music notes to accompany the dazzling ballerinas in their breakthrough recital, eager to please and excite the silent audience. Inflicting powerful sensations among those caught up by chance to experience this feat.
Exhausted, yet strangely exhilarated by this artistry, the maker stands back to admire the now less vacant canvas. With a swooping motion here, the meaning's applied. With a gentle nudge there, the heart is pumping a slow yet beautiful story, as it rises out of the emerging psyche.
Not completely absolute, she leaves room for changes, because life in general, does not stay the same. A story ready to be interpreted whichever way the viewer may, she sits there the spotlight, ready to perform.
With a pen in hand, the only real companion you have besides your conscious, is the blank page spread out in front of your drained eyes.
The marvelous curtain of silken sheet shyly unveils herself as she gets ready for her master performance. Tenderly she lets the maestro direct the flow of musical creativity unleash an explosion of colours onto her yet empty facade.
The primary colors first, creeping slowly onto the potential white, spreading their dazzling plumage as they hook onto the edges with might. The fierce secondary rapids come rushing in, taking the center stage. With a violent rage, the insignias swirl here and there, blindingly binding and dominating the grand opening.
Brilliant sparks fly as the magic erupts out of the concoction of creation, out of the deepest boundaries of the unknown imagination.
Next come the music notes to accompany the dazzling ballerinas in their breakthrough recital, eager to please and excite the silent audience. Inflicting powerful sensations among those caught up by chance to experience this feat.
Exhausted, yet strangely exhilarated by this artistry, the maker stands back to admire the now less vacant canvas. With a swooping motion here, the meaning's applied. With a gentle nudge there, the heart is pumping a slow yet beautiful story, as it rises out of the emerging psyche.
Not completely absolute, she leaves room for changes, because life in general, does not stay the same. A story ready to be interpreted whichever way the viewer may, she sits there the spotlight, ready to perform.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
State of mind
Right, well, this can be argued, but I think I am somehow destined to be a writer. The past few months I've been overcome by an irresistible urge to write. Just to sit down, and write... about anything. Anything and everything... even it's about the simplest, plainest, silliest things out there. Therefore I have begun writing a journal again, quite enjoying it to be honest... not just because it helps me when my mind gets filled to the brim of unnecessary thoughts, but just the joy of writing in itself is pleasurable. Although I put off school essays as much as possible ( they still come as huge pressuring factors), I adore writing about myself, and about life.
Contemplating pursuing a career in journalism after I finish school, have decided to become a magazine editor. It's a position I have always romaticised about and, somehow, it just feels so.. right. I've finally find a career, which will put my mini obsessive compulsive disorder about good spelling, grammar and correcting rather defensive persons' work. I mean... art will always be a part of me, and play an important role in my future, but I feel more secure about journalism.. so I guess that's where I'm headed. Most probably studying in Cape town, since its a city I fell in love with many years ago...and the possibility of friends being there, is very, very comforting. I won't be as alone as I fear. The only real insecurity I have of this option is that I fear I am not such a great writer as I may think at times. That people overrate my work, that I overrate it, that I get a bit big headed. My work does not contain the good humour of many admirable writers (I'm talking about you Cammy dearest), it's not as amazing and mature as some of the great works out there. My work is simple, real, and just straightforward, if that's the right word to use. Nothing but lessons, honest opinions, and time will tell. Oh, and can I mention that I took an IQ test the other week, and amazingly, I got 147. An IQ of 147, well imagine that. I was expecting something in the 120'! Oh just picture my surprise!
Had a (very) random photo shoot by myself today... no other explanation than I was simply just in the mood! Put on some red lipstick, and pitch black eyeliner. What can I say, I needed to know if I'm as pretty as my friends say ( no narcism). Well, wore on a black salsa dress, and proceeded to follow a rather Gothic theme shoot. Well, from the photos, I can perceive that I'm definitely not as bad looking as I think I am at times, perhaps even a tad photogenic. In my opinion, every girl needs a fun activity such as this to boost their self esteem once in a blue moon.
Friends. What a complex subject in itself. I reckon high school friendships are both overrated, and underrated. While they may seem of the key importance at the time, when you leave high school, they may as well not have existed at all. I have some awesome friends right now, but at the end of the day, I still perceive that the only person out there truly looking out for me, is myself. Considerably, I am a lone wolf, and alone, I shall head out to conquer that great big world out there.
In a different, more, low note... I have been randomly thinking about my late grandmother lately, who passed away when I was just 7 years old. I did not know her very well, but I know that we were very close, and that I loved her very much, as she did me. I couldn't help but long to know who she was, what her persona was, what she was like. I hear all these stuff from my family, about her quirks and characteristics... yet I wish to have known seen these for myself. I know my mom had a hard time adjusting to her death, and also has been thinking of her a lot lately... but for some reason, the whole instance of her death reduces me to tears every time I think about her. I have also been thinking about my poor, lovable grandfather. I have been smelling him everywhere I went this week. I worried, and still do, that it was some sign as to his health, but I really do not want to delve too much into the paranormal at this time.
I somehow think that the passing of my beloved grandmother and my grandfather's detachment, might be part of the reason I am as I am today. A reason as to why I am so prone to negativity, to be surrounded by happiness, yet feel something entirely different. Honestly, I wish I can visit a good psychologist that can hypnotize me, find out what exactly my problems are, and then tell me. By doing this, I can at least have a basis for fixing myself. What a complex mind and life is that of Inez Hayes.
Amongst other things, whilst discussing my career with my form tutor, I found out that I think very analytically. That I am a thinker, and therefore think too much and analyze everything in detail. Funnily, this fact really interested me. It explains so much about me; from the fact that I criticize myself so much, that I am my own worst enemy, that I may appear slow at times, or in fact a bit dumb. I am actually quite intelligent, but due to the instance that I tend to over think things, the words that come out of my mouth may appear totally out of the blue, or just plain random. I am so misunderstood, yet I am not as dumb or as plain as I thought.
Been listening to a lot of Carlos Santana's stuff lately, and the soft, dramatic chords of the guitar helps a lot when it comes to late night sessions for homework! I really reckon he is an underrated artist. While Jimmi Hendrix may be the named best guitarist this world has seen, Santana is surely not far from it. Ah.. music. It definitely knows how to lifts one's spirits!
Well, hope this entry hasn't been to poignant for my own good, but I just felt like writing. Just felt like writing, no other explanation, no other excuse.
Happy Halloween Everyone!
Contemplating pursuing a career in journalism after I finish school, have decided to become a magazine editor. It's a position I have always romaticised about and, somehow, it just feels so.. right. I've finally find a career, which will put my mini obsessive compulsive disorder about good spelling, grammar and correcting rather defensive persons' work. I mean... art will always be a part of me, and play an important role in my future, but I feel more secure about journalism.. so I guess that's where I'm headed. Most probably studying in Cape town, since its a city I fell in love with many years ago...and the possibility of friends being there, is very, very comforting. I won't be as alone as I fear. The only real insecurity I have of this option is that I fear I am not such a great writer as I may think at times. That people overrate my work, that I overrate it, that I get a bit big headed. My work does not contain the good humour of many admirable writers (I'm talking about you Cammy dearest), it's not as amazing and mature as some of the great works out there. My work is simple, real, and just straightforward, if that's the right word to use. Nothing but lessons, honest opinions, and time will tell. Oh, and can I mention that I took an IQ test the other week, and amazingly, I got 147. An IQ of 147, well imagine that. I was expecting something in the 120'! Oh just picture my surprise!
Had a (very) random photo shoot by myself today... no other explanation than I was simply just in the mood! Put on some red lipstick, and pitch black eyeliner. What can I say, I needed to know if I'm as pretty as my friends say ( no narcism). Well, wore on a black salsa dress, and proceeded to follow a rather Gothic theme shoot. Well, from the photos, I can perceive that I'm definitely not as bad looking as I think I am at times, perhaps even a tad photogenic. In my opinion, every girl needs a fun activity such as this to boost their self esteem once in a blue moon.
Friends. What a complex subject in itself. I reckon high school friendships are both overrated, and underrated. While they may seem of the key importance at the time, when you leave high school, they may as well not have existed at all. I have some awesome friends right now, but at the end of the day, I still perceive that the only person out there truly looking out for me, is myself. Considerably, I am a lone wolf, and alone, I shall head out to conquer that great big world out there.
In a different, more, low note... I have been randomly thinking about my late grandmother lately, who passed away when I was just 7 years old. I did not know her very well, but I know that we were very close, and that I loved her very much, as she did me. I couldn't help but long to know who she was, what her persona was, what she was like. I hear all these stuff from my family, about her quirks and characteristics... yet I wish to have known seen these for myself. I know my mom had a hard time adjusting to her death, and also has been thinking of her a lot lately... but for some reason, the whole instance of her death reduces me to tears every time I think about her. I have also been thinking about my poor, lovable grandfather. I have been smelling him everywhere I went this week. I worried, and still do, that it was some sign as to his health, but I really do not want to delve too much into the paranormal at this time.
I somehow think that the passing of my beloved grandmother and my grandfather's detachment, might be part of the reason I am as I am today. A reason as to why I am so prone to negativity, to be surrounded by happiness, yet feel something entirely different. Honestly, I wish I can visit a good psychologist that can hypnotize me, find out what exactly my problems are, and then tell me. By doing this, I can at least have a basis for fixing myself. What a complex mind and life is that of Inez Hayes.
Amongst other things, whilst discussing my career with my form tutor, I found out that I think very analytically. That I am a thinker, and therefore think too much and analyze everything in detail. Funnily, this fact really interested me. It explains so much about me; from the fact that I criticize myself so much, that I am my own worst enemy, that I may appear slow at times, or in fact a bit dumb. I am actually quite intelligent, but due to the instance that I tend to over think things, the words that come out of my mouth may appear totally out of the blue, or just plain random. I am so misunderstood, yet I am not as dumb or as plain as I thought.
Been listening to a lot of Carlos Santana's stuff lately, and the soft, dramatic chords of the guitar helps a lot when it comes to late night sessions for homework! I really reckon he is an underrated artist. While Jimmi Hendrix may be the named best guitarist this world has seen, Santana is surely not far from it. Ah.. music. It definitely knows how to lifts one's spirits!
Well, hope this entry hasn't been to poignant for my own good, but I just felt like writing. Just felt like writing, no other explanation, no other excuse.
Happy Halloween Everyone!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
A summary
Haven't posted in a while.. again.. let me summarize the last few months in a few short paragraphs..
For summer holidays I took a trip down to my homeland, which is South Africa, and spent a few week long, emotional visits with bits and bobs of my family. The visit with my grandfather was possibly the most heart wrenching. Like any normal old man, he is aging.. therefore getting one step closer to the end of his life here with us. Unfortunately the death of my grandmother and uncle had weakened him and caused him to suffer from Parkinson's.. I cannot possibly describe the type of heartbreaking love I carry for him, that good bye was possibly one of the longest, hardest goodbyes I've ever made.
In a lighter view, I had one of the most enjoyable visits with my great aunt, who is very very dear to me, and whom I love and admire so very much. I still miss our long walks along the breezy beach of Hartenbos, and spotting the porpoises and whales frolicking about in the waves. Next year just seems too long, that goodbye was also hard.. but for a different reason. Even considering all the messed up political dramas, South Africa still holds a deep untouched passion inside my heart. I simply cannot part with my motherland... however, after attending a few years there for college, I'm sure my opinion might alter a bit!
After the awesome visit we had in the land down South, we departed for Namibia where we visited my older sister and future husband. I really missed her, even though when we're together we fight worse than cats and dogs, hey.. I never said I'm fully mature.. I guess no matter how old you get, when siblings get together it's as if they'd entered a time capsule back to the time when arguing over the remote control and pulling at each others hair happened on a daily bases. Love her so much though, I've discovered a whole new protectiveness I have over my family... does it come with age.. I wonder?
Back to Namibia; one of the most exquisite, breathtaking untouched countries in this world. Took a trip down to the coast where the ocean is bluer than the cleanest sapphires, and colder than the inside of a refrigerator. However, the most special thing about it however, is that when you look on your left, you would see a wide span of water, dazzling in the sun.. and on the right, well, you find a magnificent, velvety desert spread out around you. That's Namibia. After that we headed to Sossusvlei, an actual desert in the heart of Namibia, with blood red sand shifted from the Kalahari desert, it was.. simply amazing. You would have to experience it for yourself to truly feel the magnificence radiating off the country.
Unfortunately, all good things come to an end.. and we retired back to our home, Tanzania. The last year of my school had started, and it is exciting, as well as overwhelming and depressing.. not just the work, but the fact that we are now one step closer to leaving our nests behind.. our shelter of motherly, paternal love and protection. But hey, I guess I'm one step close to becoming an adult! Which is terrifying, as well as exciting... to fully register. I'll get over it.
Now I'm on the topic, I celebrated my 18th birthday the other day, and it was..awesome. Absolutely legendary. I loved every moment of it, didn't think I had such amazing friends as I did on that day. Sweet, sweet memories. Oh, I have a pool now.. and a very hyperactive jack Russel who is fanatical about balls... so, put a bunch of teens into a backyard with a pool and a soccer ball.. add a jack Russel and you can imagine the mayhem! Good mayhem though.. very good!
On a more personal basis, I feel the best that I have in a very long time. For some strange scientific reason, as soon as I got off the plane, I started losing weight and I'm happy to report that (in my opinion) I am looking great. I feel great, look great, great family, great friends.. what more does a girl need! Boys? nah.. I figured I really don't need that kinda drama in my life.. having them as friends are just fine!
Let me end on the quote of a very great writer whom I admire very much. P.J Schoemann.
For summer holidays I took a trip down to my homeland, which is South Africa, and spent a few week long, emotional visits with bits and bobs of my family. The visit with my grandfather was possibly the most heart wrenching. Like any normal old man, he is aging.. therefore getting one step closer to the end of his life here with us. Unfortunately the death of my grandmother and uncle had weakened him and caused him to suffer from Parkinson's.. I cannot possibly describe the type of heartbreaking love I carry for him, that good bye was possibly one of the longest, hardest goodbyes I've ever made.
In a lighter view, I had one of the most enjoyable visits with my great aunt, who is very very dear to me, and whom I love and admire so very much. I still miss our long walks along the breezy beach of Hartenbos, and spotting the porpoises and whales frolicking about in the waves. Next year just seems too long, that goodbye was also hard.. but for a different reason. Even considering all the messed up political dramas, South Africa still holds a deep untouched passion inside my heart. I simply cannot part with my motherland... however, after attending a few years there for college, I'm sure my opinion might alter a bit!
After the awesome visit we had in the land down South, we departed for Namibia where we visited my older sister and future husband. I really missed her, even though when we're together we fight worse than cats and dogs, hey.. I never said I'm fully mature.. I guess no matter how old you get, when siblings get together it's as if they'd entered a time capsule back to the time when arguing over the remote control and pulling at each others hair happened on a daily bases. Love her so much though, I've discovered a whole new protectiveness I have over my family... does it come with age.. I wonder?
Back to Namibia; one of the most exquisite, breathtaking untouched countries in this world. Took a trip down to the coast where the ocean is bluer than the cleanest sapphires, and colder than the inside of a refrigerator. However, the most special thing about it however, is that when you look on your left, you would see a wide span of water, dazzling in the sun.. and on the right, well, you find a magnificent, velvety desert spread out around you. That's Namibia. After that we headed to Sossusvlei, an actual desert in the heart of Namibia, with blood red sand shifted from the Kalahari desert, it was.. simply amazing. You would have to experience it for yourself to truly feel the magnificence radiating off the country.
Unfortunately, all good things come to an end.. and we retired back to our home, Tanzania. The last year of my school had started, and it is exciting, as well as overwhelming and depressing.. not just the work, but the fact that we are now one step closer to leaving our nests behind.. our shelter of motherly, paternal love and protection. But hey, I guess I'm one step close to becoming an adult! Which is terrifying, as well as exciting... to fully register. I'll get over it.
Now I'm on the topic, I celebrated my 18th birthday the other day, and it was..awesome. Absolutely legendary. I loved every moment of it, didn't think I had such amazing friends as I did on that day. Sweet, sweet memories. Oh, I have a pool now.. and a very hyperactive jack Russel who is fanatical about balls... so, put a bunch of teens into a backyard with a pool and a soccer ball.. add a jack Russel and you can imagine the mayhem! Good mayhem though.. very good!
On a more personal basis, I feel the best that I have in a very long time. For some strange scientific reason, as soon as I got off the plane, I started losing weight and I'm happy to report that (in my opinion) I am looking great. I feel great, look great, great family, great friends.. what more does a girl need! Boys? nah.. I figured I really don't need that kinda drama in my life.. having them as friends are just fine!
Let me end on the quote of a very great writer whom I admire very much. P.J Schoemann.
'Herinneringe, mooi herinneringe, is die droe brandhout wat elke mens vir hom versamel vir die donker winternagte wat vir een en almal van ons erend op die ver paaie wag'
'Memories, beautiful memories, is the dry firewood which each person collects for himself for the dark nights which awaits each and every one of us somewhere on the far paths ahead'
'Memories, beautiful memories, is the dry firewood which each person collects for himself for the dark nights which awaits each and every one of us somewhere on the far paths ahead'
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
13th July 2010
I am so bad.. I haven't posted anything down here in a while... Guess I need to be punished! Now, shall I get to updating on all the recent hubbub?
I have been spending a hell of a lot of time with my favourite Algerian Angel here in Arusha... going out and getting up to mischief! She has indeed taught me lots on the lessons and mysteries of life.. and eating pop tarts at 2 o' clock in the morning!
Finally done with school.. only got a year left! That is so scary.. especially the fact that I am indeed turning 18 in two months.. hmm, looks like I've got to do what I can to preserve my youth!
On a pleasant note, I won the English and literature award at my school... I can safely say that I was shocked, impressed... and so psyched! As my good friend Cammy's mom told me; 'A South African girl getting an award for English! That is something!' I feel so too... especially since I have a teeny bit of a compulsive disorder on words being spelled right!
On something a bit more dramatic... a very good friend of mine (Pipsy) got mistreated by some of her friends before her high school graduation. I was so shocked.. and so angry. The one girl had supposedly been her friend the whole year.. someone she shared a deep intimacy with. One day a new girl shows up and steals her friendship. Pipsy starts feeling as if the new girl is hitting on her boyfriend... but since we all like the new girl (and honestly thought she was such a sweety) we told her that nothing of the sorts was going on. Next thing we know, my dear Pipsy is being stabbed in the back by that friend who was trying her utmost best to get the new girl and Pipsy's boyfriend together. A bunch of racist comments.. scrabbling out of names and drama and just a hell of a lot of unfairness followed. Pipsy really does not deserve it... but what can one do.. I've tried to talk to the new girl, but all she did was deny everything... everything I KNEW to be true. Guess you really cannot trust anyone in this world of ours.... a pity.
Rather a lot of guys seem to be interested in me lately.. and all I seem to do is set my eyes on one person and ignore the rest... Maybe I am a Meany.. who knows. I do know though that I am picky... and I need to start letting my guard down a bit! Enjoy life and forget about my worries!
Off down South to the motherland on the 29th.. and between me and you.. I really cannot wait! Shopping.. family.. sight seeing..smell.. and did I mention shops and good food! Then I'm off to the splendid desert sands of the great Namibia to visit my dearest older sister... again, I truly can't wait.. a trip like this is only destined to be great!
Got a second bout of the dreaded flu again now... it sucks. The last time I had it was about three weeks ago... and sounded a bit like a drunken goose. Let's see what I end up sounding like this time round! Any guesses??
Well goodnight all ye, take care and may the sky not fall on yer heads!
x
I have been spending a hell of a lot of time with my favourite Algerian Angel here in Arusha... going out and getting up to mischief! She has indeed taught me lots on the lessons and mysteries of life.. and eating pop tarts at 2 o' clock in the morning!
Finally done with school.. only got a year left! That is so scary.. especially the fact that I am indeed turning 18 in two months.. hmm, looks like I've got to do what I can to preserve my youth!
On a pleasant note, I won the English and literature award at my school... I can safely say that I was shocked, impressed... and so psyched! As my good friend Cammy's mom told me; 'A South African girl getting an award for English! That is something!' I feel so too... especially since I have a teeny bit of a compulsive disorder on words being spelled right!
On something a bit more dramatic... a very good friend of mine (Pipsy) got mistreated by some of her friends before her high school graduation. I was so shocked.. and so angry. The one girl had supposedly been her friend the whole year.. someone she shared a deep intimacy with. One day a new girl shows up and steals her friendship. Pipsy starts feeling as if the new girl is hitting on her boyfriend... but since we all like the new girl (and honestly thought she was such a sweety) we told her that nothing of the sorts was going on. Next thing we know, my dear Pipsy is being stabbed in the back by that friend who was trying her utmost best to get the new girl and Pipsy's boyfriend together. A bunch of racist comments.. scrabbling out of names and drama and just a hell of a lot of unfairness followed. Pipsy really does not deserve it... but what can one do.. I've tried to talk to the new girl, but all she did was deny everything... everything I KNEW to be true. Guess you really cannot trust anyone in this world of ours.... a pity.
Rather a lot of guys seem to be interested in me lately.. and all I seem to do is set my eyes on one person and ignore the rest... Maybe I am a Meany.. who knows. I do know though that I am picky... and I need to start letting my guard down a bit! Enjoy life and forget about my worries!
Off down South to the motherland on the 29th.. and between me and you.. I really cannot wait! Shopping.. family.. sight seeing..smell.. and did I mention shops and good food! Then I'm off to the splendid desert sands of the great Namibia to visit my dearest older sister... again, I truly can't wait.. a trip like this is only destined to be great!
Got a second bout of the dreaded flu again now... it sucks. The last time I had it was about three weeks ago... and sounded a bit like a drunken goose. Let's see what I end up sounding like this time round! Any guesses??
Well goodnight all ye, take care and may the sky not fall on yer heads!
x
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