13th February 2010

This morning my mom told me something that filled me with internal sunshine and glee. I had been telling her all about me starting a blog, and writing a s***load of stuff on it every week. She then told me that at my last school, the teachers would always tell her what a talented writer I am, and that I should definitely consider taking a course in it. Apparently they had been telling her this since I was in grade one, up until I left the school in grade 7. To be honest, it not only pleased me to hear this, but it also surprised me. I've never really considered myself as an especially talented writer. I guess it's up to those reading my works whether I should be put under talented or not.

Today's the day right before Valentine's day, and yet again, I find myself with no valentine by my side. For once though, I really don't mind... it just doesn't seem that important. I mean, I've possibly got the greatest group of people as my friends and family...and I've got my mom back. For those reasons alone I am ecstatic. Relieved that my mom is alright, and that that little piece of my heart has been restored. As cheesy as that may sound.

A huge surprise awaited me yesterday when I got home. It was late afternoon, and my little sister and I had just come back from Young Life ( a club we go to for a bit of fun...). I knew my dad wasn't home yet, he only comes home around 5pm, and besides.. his car wasn't even the driveway. However, as I crossed the threshold into my house, I saw my sister hugging someone ahead of me in the hallway. At first I was overcome with confusion, 'had dad come home earlier?' I thought.. and where was his car? However, as I looked a bit more closely I saw a more frail, yet glowing image of my mom. I really though I was seeing things at first... but then I was so overcome by emotion I thought I'd explode. I burst out with a wild cry and ran into her welcoming embrace. I hugged her tightly as I sobbed loudly, and rhythmically against her chest. I had missed her so much, it was so, so good to see her. She's finally home now, so I'm fine in that area of my psyche...and just so relieved she's alright!

I have a certain member of the male species lingering in my thoughts. I can't get rid of it no matter how hard I try; but, if it keeps that part inside of my happy, why get rid of it? Every now and then I would get a flurry of butterflies erupt deep inside my midriff, and spread out along my bloodstream. I suppose that it's a bit sad though, because I know that nothing can ever happen from this...But I have accepted this fact a long time ago, so it doesn't ever really cause me any really pain. Someone like him, such a phenomenal person, with absolute mind-aching beauty.... He won't ever look twice in the direction of meager old me, with my less than perfect appearance, and rather weird persona. I am no extraordinary beauty. I can't ever measure up to that level of greatness his aura gives off. However, simply having his conversation, his gaze on mine at those rare times our eyes meet coincidentally...and being in the same air as he.. It makes me giddy with joy. As I said the other day, this is all I need to keep myself in high spirits.

This past week's just been awesome in it's own way...even with exams, stress, art coursework in need of completion.. It was somehow one of those rare times in your life where the majority of things just seems to go as you want it. Obviously not all of it does, but most of it. I am so happy right now, not overly ecstatic, but content... purely content. Even with pressure, no boyfriend.. no real love life, and the occasional bouts of self-consciousness spilling out every now and then. I've got amazing people in my life...and that's possibly more than I could ever ask for. All you basically need is someone there for you, to care for you... and when you've got a fair amount of these, I'd say you're pretty damned lucky. Plus, I've got a crush.. something I haven't had in eons...a motivation to get up every day, and really make an effort with my appearance. Aaah, the benefits of falling for someone...

So, here I am.. holding a glass of red champagne.... and making to toast to all you glorious people out there, who succeed in making my life just that little bit more awesome each day. May your day be filled with love, sunshine and lots of butterflies. Happy Valentine's day!

Nezzy xx